Dangerous man
by KnuckleFantasy
Summary: Sherlock shouldn't be allowed to come near a microwave. Especially if it's for science. Inspiration for this one come from a dumb Tumblr post.


**Hi guys! Another Sherlock One Shot just for you! I was on tumblr and saw a pretty funny post and one of the blogger said it could have take place in the Sherlock universe. At first I only draw a quick gif to go with the idea, but then I decided it would be fun to write something about it too. So here we go! **

**I really want to thank TheFrenchBookworm, she's an amazing friend and bêta!**

**Disclamer: of course, they didn't belong to me. **

**(PS: you can find the original Tumblr post here: : add trucbiduleschouettes . tumblr post /78949700351/thedoctorsconsultinghunter**

**Just take of the space at the beginning and the "add"! )**

Anyone who wasn't aware of his situation would have declared John as a crazy man. After all, how could one be sane when shooting suspicious glances at a microwave? But ever since he had entered the tiny kitchen thirty minutes earlier to eat breakfast, John's eyes had never left the electronic device.

But hey, it wasn't like he had any serious matters to be concerned about. During the previous week, Sherlock had taken up the bad habit of testing out a vast number of things in the microwave. You know, _for science_. Except that it had already cost them two microwaves and part of the kitchen wall after some of these tests had gone extremely wrong. Exhausted, John had finally put his foot down and announced it was the last time Sherlock's experiments were going to blow up half their flat.

That was why he was currently sitting in his favourite armchair, guarding the microwave.

Just as John was beginning to nod off, he was started awake by the sound of the door bursting open and crashing against the wall. He was actually surprised it hadn't fallen out of its frame by now, what with all the times it was been _forcefully_ opened. He even suspected the wooden door to be the only thing they never have to replace in the flat. But he didn't have time to ponder the matter, because his attention was now drawn to the man standing in front of him. His flatmate was smiling suspiciously.

« John, take my credit card and go buy milk and eggs. We have a new case and I need them for an experiment. »

Arching one eyebrow, the former soldier didn't look convinced.

« And you didn't buy them – even if you were _just_ outside – because…? »

« Don't be ridiculous, I don't have time for such trivial chores – I need to _focus_ now. »

Right. Of course. Triviality was _John's _MO. After all, It wasn't like he had important things to do himself, _was _it?

Choosing not to get annoyed at his flatmate so early in the morning, John stood up. After scrutinizing the other man for a few seconds, he finally decided it was safe to leave. But he would _definitely_ not be taking his time. It was just milk and eggs – it would take what, ten minutes if the shop wasn't too busy? If he was lucky enough, Sherlock would be lost in his mind palace the whole time John was out and wouldn't end up blowing the place up…

It was with shaky confidence that John left the room, shooting one last warning glance at his flatmate over his shoulder. Maybe, _maybe_ for once, everything would go well…

But when he saw black smoke billowing out of the flat windows on his way back from the shop, John's self control literally fell to pieces. This time, he clearly heard the door fly off its hinges as he crashed into the room, eyes darting left and right in search of his soon-to-be-dead-flatmate.

Standing in front of a seething firewoman, Sherlock was visibly trying his best not look too annoyed at her yelling. Maybe he had noticed that the woman seemed ready to punch him if he dared roll his eyes at her one more time.

« Sherlock, what on _earth_ happened? »

The detective shrugged. « I was conducting an experiment. »

John didn't try to hide his sarcasm this time. « Oh, thank you very much; I couldn't have guessed _that_ by myself. » It was the last straw for him. Resisting the urge to punch Sherlock in the face, John turned and gave the woman an apologetic look.

« I'm really sorry for the trouble. May I ask how our kitchen was set on fire this time? »

« Wait, what do you mean _this time_?" She sounded incredulous. "Is this weirdo a freaking _pyromaniac_? 'Cause if he is, I'm calling the police, sir! » The firewoman slowly inched away from Sherlock, who merely rolled his eyes.

« Don't be ridiculous; of course I don't partake in pyromaniac activities – it was only an experiment with the microwave. »

That last word rang in John's ears and he felt heat flush to his face. So, _that_ was it. Again, his friend had completely ignored his warnings; taking advantage of John's absence to test another object's reaction to the damned kitchen appliance.

_When the firewoman finally takes her leave_, John decided,_ I will definitely murder him_.

« Sherlock, » he growled.

« I didn't now bananas were flammable," Sherlock stated. When John only gaped, he added, "Now I do. »

«Whoa, did this guy put fucking _fruit_ in the _microwave_?" The firewoman shook her head, throwing her hands up in a hopeless gesture. "Alright guys, I'm leaving. You're all crazy here. »

The two men barely noticed her departure.

«_Why_," John hissed through his teeth. "Tell me _why_ any normal, _sane_ person would decide to pop a _banana_ in the _microwave_? »

« For science, of course. » Sherlock's lofty tone was too much to bear.

John smiled and repeated with a chuckle, « For science. _Yeah_. »

Then he punched Sherlock in the face.

The detective staggered back, blinking sharply. « What was _that_ for? »

« Science," John said innocently, rubbing his knuckles. "I don't know about you, but I found this experiment very enlightening. »

After that accident, it was decided that none of the kitchen utensils were ever to be used in solving a case. Nor were they to serve as playthings for Sherlock's insatiable curiosity.

Well, almost.

« John, did you know that if you put a cork in the microwave, it will swell up to twice its size? »

**The End!**


End file.
